


If there was anything I couldn't lose... It was you.

by lumosinlove



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Harry Potter - Freeform, M/M, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 18:14:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5466122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumosinlove/pseuds/lumosinlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus runs out after a fight. It's Christmas and Sirius can't lose him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If there was anything I couldn't lose... It was you.

Sirius stood frozen, the air seeming to ring with the eerie silence that was so suddenly there after all the yelling and the final slam of the door. He blinked at the door, the new hairline crack in the framing, and the space where Remus had been only moments ago. As the feeling returned to his fingertips, he felt the panic tighten his chest as he realized he was alone.

They’d been fighting for a while now. Maybe a month. It felt like longer. They fought over, as Sirius now realized, stupid, petty things. Rent, socks on the floor, that guy at the bar from a few days ago. That was tonight’s fight. Apparently Sirius didn’t care enough about this relationship. Apparently he needed to lose “the flirt”. And if it led to this, - loneliness, heartache - Sirius agreed. He’d lose anything, except Remus.

Remus who’d just left. Sirius whirled to the window and the thick, blinding flakes that were falling quickly outside, coating the ground.

“Fuck.”

He grabbed his jacket, his hat and gloves, and yanked the door open, taking the stairs down to the first apartment floor two at a time.

He wouldn't lose Remus.

The icy London wind hit him like a wall the second he was outside and his heart clenched at the thought of Remus’ thin, cotton, pajamas he had been wearing.

He frantically looked left and right, desperate to catch a glimpse of the ridiculous red material covered in little reindeer. Remus was no where in sight so Sirius just chose a direction and started walking, feet slipping slightly with his fast pace. The problem was he hadn’t a clue where Remus could have gone- especially in this weather. The snow stung his cheeks and he pulled his hat lower over his ears. He passed dark shops, closed for Christmas, but no people - everyone was probably having Christmas dinner right about now… like they should be.

He thought of the dinner waiting on the table that Remus had slaved away over for them all day - not even letting Sirius have little bites. He thought of this morning… this morning that had started out so perfectly.

What went wrong?

What ever goes wrong?

He was getting desperate; he seemed to be the only one on the streets. It’d been nearly two hours and he felt like he’d walked half their neighborhood.

“Remus!” He didn’t care anymore, he’d shout his name from the rooftops if he had to.

People probably thought he was mad, jogging along the streets, looking in every corner, shouting.

Horrible thoughts started crossing Sirius’ mind, scenarios that were so far fetched they seemed impossible but Sirius was worried.

Hours slipped by and he was just considering throwing all caution to the wind and casting a patronus when finally, finally, he skidded to a stop at a glimpse of red near a bank of snow.

And Sirius ran.

He sprinted down the alley way.

“Remus. Fuck, Re, Oh my god-“

His knees collided painfully with the cold ground in his haste to collect Remus’ shivering, soaking wet body into his arms. He was shaking almost violently, his lips blue, snowflakes forming little ice crystals on his skin and hair.

“Remus, what the bloody hell were you thinking?” Sirius’s heart was hammering because Remus had barely moved his head, much less responded. Sirius just held him tighter, “Fuck, c’mere…” He pressed their bodies together as close he could, wrapping his jacket around the both of them, desperate to get Remus warm.

“‘m cold.” His voice was faint and breathy and he leaned into Sirius, pressing his freezing nose into Sirius’ warm neck, all previous words that may have been said forgotten, “Pads… ‘m cold-“

“I know, love. I know. I’m taking you home right now, I promise- fuck, you just- you have to stop shaking like this… Here-“

Sirius yanked his hat from his head and pulled it low over Remus’ head, followed by his mittens, carefully pulling them over Remus’ stiff fingers.

“‘m sorry. ‘M sorry..” Remus’ words sounded slurred, sending jolts of fear through Sirius.  
 “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. C’mon, can you stand? Do you think you can apparate?”

Sirius felt Remus’ head nod and he immediately started pulling them upright, keeping Remus firmly pressed against his chest. He pressed a kiss to Remus’ icy cheek,

“Ready, love?”

Another shaky nod was all Sirius needed before he was turning on his heel and feeling the air compress around them.

The next second, a wall of warmth was making his fingers and toes tingle and he felt Remus slump against him. He half carried, half dragged him down the hall to the small bathroom.

He started peeling off Remus’ wet clothes as the bathtub filled up until he was able to submerge him almost entirely in the hot water, crouching beside it and keeping his hand under his head to keep it above water.

It was only when the color started to return to Remus’ cheeks and his eyes fluttered open again did Sirius finally stop holding his breath.

“Re?” Sirius brushed his fingers through Remus’ damp fringe, “Can you hear me, love?”

Remus’ eyes finally opened, the usual brightness dimmed slightly, and found Sirius’ worried grey ones, “Yeah. Yeah, I can hear you..”

Sirius felt a bit like crying and he had lean forward and press a hard kiss to Remus’ forehead so he wouldn’t see him blink the tears out of his eyes. He’d been scared… he wasn’t sure he’d ever been more scared in his life when he saw Remus laying motionless in the snow. But he knew one thing.

He couldn’t lose Remus.


End file.
